just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize