Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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