It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
