also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
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she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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