you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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