i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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