That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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