i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
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Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
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My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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