so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
