I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
