saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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