we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
