I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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