Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
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i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
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You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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