Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
