He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
