can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
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I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
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That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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