I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
this boner is exhausting
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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