dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
