HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
