People in love make me want to vomit
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
His nipple licking is glorious
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