you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize