this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
