I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize