Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize