I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
