He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize