maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
