I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
you never un-have a 4some
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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