Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
