Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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