My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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