Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
