Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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