Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
