Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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