I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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