We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
