We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
