ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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