i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize