I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
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