My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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