So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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