HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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