nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
