Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
