I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
