I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Randomize
