I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He keeps bees of course he's weird
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
