you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
