She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
