doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
