I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
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I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
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Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize