Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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