Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
bring money and cleavage
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
