I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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