I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
