I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
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i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
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My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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