i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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