Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
