The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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