Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
