In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
